Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
