So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
