I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
