3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize