so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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