Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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