I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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