Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
That's intense
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
