seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
