He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
