i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
