Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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