Dual....:-)
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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