I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
