I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
They are going to name an STD after you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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