woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
