I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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