that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
