There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize