It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
