I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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