what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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