They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
