Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
