You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
