remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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