I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
