just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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