So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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