Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Damn victory sex feels great
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
