so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
