I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
