I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
