NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
