I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
