So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
