My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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