I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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