I accidentally had phone sex last night
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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