if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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