a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I came so hard my ears popped.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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