The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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