Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize