the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
