Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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