If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
false alarm, still single
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
