I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
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