Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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