what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
