You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
