Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
