I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
