your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I stole a fireplace last night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
