I just made out with a guy for $7.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
