Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Let's paint friendship bongs
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
