PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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