so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
