that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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